I think that when I look
back on my life, I will pinpoint this semester as one of the most influential
three months of my life.
Why?
I learned of poverty.
In English 298, I read
speeches given by famous orators, both black and white, around the time of the
Civil War. I learned about race relations during that era and how not much has
changed since then, thanks to poor decisions. Then, I read horrendous books
(like Native Son and Invisible Man) that opened my
eyes to the brutality of man. Sin is so real and positively heart
wrenching These books also opened my eyes to the reality that while we do
make decisions, we are also products of our environment. And some people live
and breath a very toxic environment.
In my freshman seminar, I
learned about the inequities found in the educational system. I learned that
education is a hope and a salvation. I grappled with my
idealist, Republican sentimentalities and the handout pleasing,
Democratic perspective. (I am now a conservative independent).
In my education class, I
was forced to volunteer. So, I chose to drive to a government-housing complex
and tutor a little girl.
Here is a (rough draft) of the paper that I am writing for that class about my
experiences:
*names changed for privacy reasons*
My experience at Youth Life was difficult, but the long-term benefits are
immeasurable. Amy proved to be a challenge that I never overcame. It
frustrated me that she refused to accept my assistance, even though it would
significantly help her. My interactions with the other children at the learning
center helped me realize that I cannot become consumed with the well being of
one child. All of the students need support in some form. In the greater
picture, my experiences helped me gain a broader compassion of and
understanding for people living in poverty. In the future, I plan on doing
something to help the impoverished – whether it is providing them with education
or something else.
In high school, I
volunteered in a third grade classroom at an inner city, private school. I
loved every second of my experience. When I learned of the required volunteer
hours for Diverse Learners, I was excited to replicate my experience. The
Center for Civic Engagement connected me with Youth Life. Youth Life is a
religious-affiliated, before and after school program for children living in
poverty. There are two Youth Life plants.
I chose to go to one based in the middle of a
government-housing complex. My experience at Youth Life proved to be a
challenging one that opened my eyes to the reality of poverty.
On my first day of
tutoring, I walked into a chaotic classroom with two frazzled assistants and a
frustrated teacher. Not sure what to do or even really where to go, I just
stood in the back until the kids were led to recess. Finally, I was given a
more complete explanation of what I would be doing. As a volunteer, I was
assigned a kindergartner named Amy to tutor and mentor. My first experience
with Amy was not a positive one. She pushed every boundary, disobeyed every
rule, and, honestly, was not a very enjoyable person to tutor. Beyond the one
on one mentoring being difficult, the atmosphere was hard to concentrate in.
Kids were talking the whole time and were struggling to stay sitting down.
Honestly, it is hard to blame them. They have been in a school setting since as
early as seven-thirty in the morning. As I left the first day, I hoped the next
tutoring session would be a more positive experience.
Against my hopes, the
negative experiences and difficult learning environment continued for the next
meeting. However, I gained optimism when Amy had a breakthrough in our
third mentoring and tutoring session. She easily read through an entire book
with minimal help and even found it amusing. Unfortunately, the breakthrough
was short lived. When I arrived for the fourth tutoring session, I
was informed that Amy was suspended from her elementary school, and thus the Learning Center, for slapping her principal. Thus far, my overall
experience with Youth Life was stressful, frustrating and disappointing.
Since Amy was
suspended, I tutored Jane, Amy's sister, and Caleb. Jane is in first
grade, is very bright and loves school. She likes doing well and spends a long
time on her homework so it would look perfect. She is in second grade and wants
to be a teacher when she grows up. Caleb is in kindergarten and loves to move.
I was able to incorporate jumping jacks, push-ups, water breaks, and squirm
sessions into our homework time. When Caleb was allowed to alternate moving and
working, his productivity and understanding improved. My interactions
with Jane and Caleb helped me have positive experiences with tutoring.
On the day of my sixth
tutoring session, Amy was back. Jason, the teacher in charge, decided it
was best for her to work on her own. I was assigned to Jane again. Today, she
was tired and sad. Jason said things get "stressful" at home sometime
and, when that happens, Jane shuts down. In order to get her to calm down and
open up - I read her favorite book: Cinderella. She reads it almost
everyday and watches the movie almost as often. It is as if the perfect, happily
ever after world rescues her from the stresses of her own life. As I got to the
end, singing bits and pieces of the song, Jane started relaxing and was able
to complete her homework. Then, we colored and played on the computer, which
became a community activity. A little girl sat on my lap and two other girls
offered friendly suggestions, Jane and Amy played the game. It was very
relaxed and fun. For the first time, I actually enjoyed myself. By the end of
the day, Jane and Amy were fighting over whom I was going to tutor next
week. Since then, I have primarily tutored Jane. Amy continues to work on
her own, but often comes over to Jane and I for reading or craft time.
Volunteering at the Learning Center was different from my expectations. The first half was very
frustrating and disappointing. However, I am so glad that I decided to
volunteer with Youth Life. I learned that while I love communicating ideas and
thoughts, I am not meant to be an elementary school teacher. I also learned
that you have to make concessions with your plan in order to best help the
child. It is so easy to become consumed with my personal agenda or the way
something is suppose to go. However, that is not fair to the student or to you.
I also realized that if I chose to teach in
a low-income area there are many
social barriers to break down, as a white female. I will never forget my first
day volunteering. When I parked my car, I felt uncomfortable, conspicuous, and
painfully obvious. I was the rich white girl coming to help the poor black
kids. I did not want to be viewed from that perspective. I wanted to be
recognized as someone who was helping, because there was a conspicuous need. I
did not want to be the wealthy white person momentarily stepping out of her
white bubble for charity. Unfortunately, this picture has a grain of truth in
it. I am not living in poverty to say the least. I live on a campus endowed
with over a billion dollars with a stable home and family that supports and
loves me. I live a very different life from the children at the Learning
Center. Though our backgrounds are very different, I truly care for these
children and want to help them in any way possible.
Since Youth Life is based
in a government-housing complex, I came in direct contact with the living
conditions of the children. It raised my awareness of the inequities of
education and the harsh realities of the world. Some days, it was difficult to
look outside and see teenagers, only a few years older then some of the students
at the learning center, making poor decisions. It was impossible to ignore the
reality that a majority of the children in my classroom are going to continue
living in generational poverty. This poverty is heartbreaking. Being in close
proximity to the upper middle class only further emphasizes it. Five miles away from the Learning Center are million
dollar homes in safe, comfortable areas. It seems unfair that by a twist of
fate, these children were born into incredibly difficult circumstances only a few
miles away from the more comfortable. I have not been able to reconcile this
fact, but it has made me more passionate about children in poverty stricken
areas. Though centered in a government-housing complex, the Learning center
does an incredible job providing a safe, stable environment for children to
come and focus on education.
Youth Life has inspired me
to continue volunteering and raise awareness for poverty. As a product of the
upper middle class, I chose to ignore the poverty that was right across my city
and, instead, to focus on the poverty in other countries. Yes, Africa is a
broken continent in need of significant help. However, in our quest to help the
broken, we cannot overlook our neighbors. Going to another continent to help
others is fantastic, but it is a temporary fix. Investing in a relationship
only twenty-five minutes away has the potential to impact a life forever. It
seems so logical. Why are people, myself included, choosing to overlook the
impoverished in America? I have come to the conclusion that there are two
primary reasons. One is that people are scared of commitment. It is one thing
to send your money to an organization or spend two weeks in India; however, it
is entirely different to commit to meeting with someone once a week or every
two weeks. The other reason is that welfare, combined with the general negative
perception of the poor in the United States, has made people feel guilty about
helping the impoverished. It feels good to give money or time to the poor in another
country, but it feels like handouts when devoting the exact same resources to
those living in your own country. My response to that is to stop being
superficial and devote your time and money to something that truly will make a
difference. Continue helping those in need in other countries, but also devote
your resources to our neighbors.
This is just a glimpse at
all I have learned this semester. I think I need a whole other post to talk
about the other things I have learned.
Summer is quickly
approaching (three more weeks!). Hopefully I will be a more consistant blogger
over the summer!
xoxo
The Blonde
